Phone-e Bologna

Is it that yapping interferes with your Playstation time or that the awkwardness of saying goodbye that text messaging seems to pass in usage over the phone call these days. In Alone Together, writer Sherry Turkle describes this phenomenon in ways that make it seem that maybe we fear phone use, saying goodbye seems like rejection, or maybe we are just a little tired of talking and listening to the nitty-gritty details that otherwise disappear on a text, so that all that remains are the facts, the importance, the black and white version of what we were wanting to say. So what exactly do we lose in that?

Human connection. That stuff that makes us feel like we are all together, that we are closer than we think. When we speak on the phone, we can hear emotion in our voices, instant worries, initial thoughts, and immediate ideas that can grow upon each other and can leave room for profound connection with the someone you are speaking with rather than filtered, edited perfected texts. We feel closer to individuals when we hear about their day and are able to talk about yours no matter how mundane that day might have been. The fact that someone is able to do more than just read what you have to say then stick you back in their pocket, maybe make us feel deep down that we aren’t so alone.

Maybe I’m partial in my position to defend the phone. Don’t get me wrong. I’m practically a textaholic- like the next person, but those who call me are the ones who really get my attention. Those are the ones that stand out, the people who I look forward to seeing in person. Phones call conversations seem less artificial and factual. And now that texting is becoming more common than phone calls, we resort to making important notes to people over texting, e-mail, or on social networking sites. The medium in which we use to get our messages out can shift a delicate message to something rather impersonal.

Breaking up a once serious and connected relationship via text message seems less than heartless, but it happens all the time. Let’s face it, it’s easy, quick, and you don’t have to see or hear their reaction or emotion. You don’t have to deal with the awkward goodbye hug or kiss and more importantly, it seems like a clean check off a list rather than a human disappointment. But using text or e-mail to take away the awkwardness of a real life encounter with your old partner, we leave the reciprocating party feeling like less, like they weren’t good enough to even be told to their faces, that maybe all that time they were together was a waste. This says a lot about how little we value a text.

So maybe I’d rather hear my father’s voice than read his text. It’s nice to hear from him every once in while tell me about his day or be able to tell him about mine ear to phone. But everyday conversation with him can become dry and make me resent answering a phone call about the same old stuff. Sometimes, there is something so special about a text from Dad popping up that reads either one two dialogues, “I love you, Buttons! (personal nickname)” or “I’m proud of you pumpkin.” So for that, I can say, I don’t mind the texting phenomenon. It would just be nice to compromise, like invent a program on a medium that allows people to see and hear each other talk, something free, no matter where they are on the planet… eh, maybe that’s asking too much... (note logo below)

:)